THE WEEKLY #149: EXISTENTIAL CRISIS 30,000FT IN THE AIR (PERU)

There’s something about long-haul flights and lengthy transits, which send me into a contemplative realm. I leave behind all of my simplistic daily thoughts and start to analyze my life from an external point of view. I start to question everything about who I am and the direction I am heading in. Thousands of feet above the worries of below, I have an existential crisis. Every damn time.

Sitting in a plane seat is where I do my most harsh, critical self-analysis. Every single motive, inspiration, and decision is questioned. My goals and my direction are objectively put on trial and often by the end of a long flight they have entirely changed. It’s an emotional process that often comes with some harsh self-realizations.

Maybe it is the silence and solitude of a long flight that gives me the space to go deeper. Maybe it’s the expectation of a clean slate or a fresh start in my new destination. It could be the chance of an optional personal reset that entices me to reflect on who I have been and how that could change when I step out of the terminal on the other end of my transit.

When I book a flight of more than ten hours, I am checking in to an existential crisis meeting with myself. It’s not as alarming as it may sound and in reality, I shouldn’t need to soar across the world in a metal tube to delve deep within and question myself. But I do, and it’s a pattern.

This week I flew for 43 hours from Bali in Indonesia to Lima in Peru. If there was ever a time that I was going to reflect it would be in the mirror of my longest ever transit.

 

My head floated from one area of my life to the next making comparisons, connections and conclusions. There’s nothing to hide from in this life, being open and honest is the only way to be free. As soon as you start to conceal you hide away from ever grabbing your own freedom. I have no instinct to withdraw and no natural reaction to hide my flaws and fears from myself or from you. I’m not afraid to admit to my own existential crisis. I almost think if I’m not having one, I’m shying away from one I should be having.

 

I’m currently struggling with my purpose. I’ve forever said the most relatable quote for me is, “Nobody knows what the fuck they are doing.”

I find that quote explanatory of the fact that everyone is likely feeling a similar way despite the front they might be exposing. Think about those friends who seem most sure of themselves, their career path and their direction. After everything I have experienced in my life so far, I find such a level of confidence and certainty frighteningly naive.

I’m struggling to accept the notion of completing a project relatively large yet also relatively small. It depends on what it is being compared and to who is doing the comparison. The fact is that none of those even matter for the hundreds of children the project was aimed at helping. Nonetheless, it is on my mind. For example, recently I finished working on Project Lombok. A campaign where I worked alongside an organization to raise enough funds to build six pop-up schools. We managed to raise over $100,000 to enable more than 1000 students to return to school on the island of Lombok.

This is a huge achievement and an incredibly successful outcome. I truly do know that and I have let them hit me wholly. It took four months of intensive work, bold ideas and a great group of people working together. It was an undeniable success but when I step back and look at the big picture of Lombok or Indonesia or even the world, it’s hard to even see the scratch on the surface we made. That might sound very negative and to a degree it is, but it’s how I feel at times. Not all the time but it creeps in.

It’s a trap of knowing that we can’t change the world but we can change something and that in effect is changing the world. This trap is as equally inspiring as it can be paralyzing. To be perfectly honest, sometimes it paralyzes me into a tired state of not knowing where to start. Too tired to start anywhere. It’s not often but it happens. The rest of the time, I am head down and working hard backed by inspiration and motivation to live purposefully and make a positive impact.

I find it a balancing act of emotions, expectations and an elaborate battle of perception. I know one person can’t change the world but sometimes I want to. It’s a frustrating battle of putting your head down to work hard while all the while keeping your head up and eyes open watching the world’s events unfolding around you.

 

I also feel a responsibility to the opportunity I currently have. This platform, these readers, those followers. How can I let this opportunity slide and look back in thirty years at what we might have achieved together if I had figured out the best way for us to come together on issues that matter to us? How do I balance my desire to fulfill that responsibility with my personal life and other ambitions? You learn to juggle. 

The other part of my life that was explored during my existential crisis meeting aboard the Airbus en route to Santiago was my deep isolation. My lifestyle is prohibitive to long-term relationships, deeper connection and a sense of community. That’s the lifestyle I’ve created to be clear. No-one else put me here.

The constant changes of location, intense scheduled adventures, fast-paced motion and an unlikely idea that I will make any of the above malleable enough to fit another person or group makes this life a very solo adventure. I understand this situation is a personal construct. I have the power to flick the switch in a second if I wanted to. It’s possible that I could stay in one location for longer. I could become part of a community. I could open up my life to more people and invite a more collaborative process on my adventures and activities to suit those around me. However, I continue to choose not to. 

Why am I unwilling to sacrifice my personal goals for a community and meaningful relationships, when I know so clearly they are the most important aspects to personal happiness and sense of belonging? One and the same. Why am I blocking that avenue?

On the other hand, would it be a disastrous waste of an opportunity to ‘settle’ into a community? Is it possible to find a potential medium? As you can see the questions begin to flow very freely and each one consumes me as the internal debate ignites. Often the fire burns as I realize many of the oversights and mistakes I’ve been falling victim to, courtesy of myself.

 

The beauty of this life is that if you do look inside and you can be entirely honest with yourself, the answers are usually there. The hard part is coming to terms with the answers because all too often they aren’t what we wanted to hear. 

An existential crisis meeting rarely has me entering a new country with a refined ideology of how my life should be lived. The reflection does though, find it’s way into my thought process and future decisions. I look back to those moments aboard the plane where I am in the midst of deep reflection, where my thoughts are most pure. They guide my next moments and they flow into my inspirations, motivations, and decisions.

Like the baggage claim carousel, my mind circulates trying to process the intensity of my existential crisis meeting. It will be continued on the 45-hour transit back to Indonesia in several days no doubt.

For now, I am in Peru working on a tourism film campaign for four days. I will post below the photos of the week (and some throughout the post above) but to give some context, I was invited by the Tourism Board of Peru via an Australian Digital Agency to be the talent for video promotion and to promote Peru via social media. We visited Sacred Valley, Machu Picchu, Cusco, and Lima. 

 

It was an adventure trip so on day one we began with a double backward bungee and flowed into day two with kayaking and downhill mountain biking. I capped the trip off on my last day by going on a hike to a glacier lake at 4000m altitude. It was an interesting four days as most of the time was spent being filmed rather than regular adventuring but that was the nature of this job. I was lucky to share the experience with Quin (@everchanginghorizon), who is someone I have looked up to as a photographer since I first picked up a camera.

This is just another average week, to be honest. Although there was one final factor that made this week a little challenging. After one year of training, I had to pull out of the Bali Hope Ultra Marathon due to a hip injury. So I will head back to Australia for surgery on an impingement type injury in a few days. Life threw a curve ball. Always put bat on ball, then run like hell and at least make it to first base.

If you did read this weekly, I’d love if you left a comment below. I’d like to add more personal stories each week to this WEEKLY section rather than just a recap of what I did. Hopefully, I can speak truth to the experiences of my adventures and my life and that in turn can hit home with anyone else feeling the same way. 

Hope you all had seven days to remember.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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101 Discussion to this post

  1. Summer says:

    You definitely aren’t alone, I can feel that contemplative state coming as soon as I make my way to the airport. Especially when you see everybody with their families, friends and loved ones and you are by yourself. I always have the thought why am I doing this? What am I running from? Is it myself?
    I just think you have to remember how great you’ve done with the adventure bag crew when you are contemplating what’s your meaning. You’ll never be able to change the whole world, and all the people in it. But you are suing your platform in a way that could make a huge impact on it. Whether you see the difference in the long term or not. You are educating which you won’t see the results of either.
    Unfortunately these aren’t physical things you’ll be able to see or notice on a larger scale, but you are making a difference in the world.

  2. Phong says:

    Thanks for sharing this! I thought I was the only one that falls into a deep self-reflection on long flights. Usually flights back home after an overseas trip

  3. Virginia says:

    Thank you for being so real with us all, and sharing your heart to openly. You are courageous and vulnerable in so many ways.
    Check your emails mate! I sent you my reply on there.

  4. Tony says:

    Jackson, thank you so much for sharing also this part of your nomad life. This post reminds me a lot the time when I was struggling with my self and my choices, I think everyone here can relate a bit to it, in a way or the other. And to make a point, you already are part of a community, your readers and followers are your community and I want to say thank you for what you are sharing with us. Rest if you need, but never stop to challenge your self.

  5. Emma says:

    Thanks for being so genuine and candid, as well as vulnerable, in sharing all of this.

    Thankful to see such a public example of reflective self-awareness in being willing to ask yourself difficult questions and be critical of your values and choices.

    Always difficult, but always worth it.

    • Jackson says:

      Hey Emma, Just trying to write from a pure place rather than what I think people want to hear. Thanks for reading.

  6. Jacob Cass says:

    Hey mate, thanks for sharing your thoughts here. The old meaning of life conundrum. There are always going to be sacrifices and nothing is forever. You may find the perfect partner, have a kid and leave the adventure life behind or do something in between, which is what I am currently doing as we raise our first kid. Rather than live life on the road, it’s a hybrid life of having a home base with community and trips scattered in between. People change, as do circumstances but you’re doing what you feel is right in this moment and that’s what matters. Keep at it and god speed for your sprint to first base.

  7. As i told you thru Instagram, you’ve got such an amazing and pure content . Thanks for sharing this
    post with us! You truly brought me thru different emotiona such as dizzy (day dreaming of 44h on a plain) hehe also and eager desire to keep exploring our country Peru and keep growing our travel agency.

    Tourism moves more less 10% of the GPD and i have felt this face to face in all our journeys where our clients comes thru.

    Also but not the less I appreciate you sharing your personal status because while i kept day dreaming about exploring you’ve made the decision to walk “alone” without any long- relationship due comprehensive travel schedule which made me felt a bit sad (maybe i’m so in love now hehe) but after all i kept your words “if you look inside yourself the answer will pop up on you”

    Thanks again for coming to our country
    Kind regards
    Diego Padron @dpadron90
    Founder Mytrip2peru

  8. Doya Karolini says:

    Absolutely beautiful. And, weirdly enough, I needed this. Smiles from the other side of the world.

  9. Jorden Tually says:

    Feeling the same way mate. I’m professing so far ahead in what I wanna do in life yet falling behind in progression of deeper, long term relationships. Which at the end of the day is all that matters to me.

    • Jackson says:

      Yea it’s a very difficult balance for us and one we can often see ourselves struggling with but we continue anyway.

  10. Jenny K says:

    I’ve been feeling the same way. And I’m one of the lucky ones with a nice family. So it’s frightening to me sometimes that I chose to live far away while simultaneously dealing with career challenges and lonely risks that no one I know would sit with for this long.

    Going back about ten years, it started with me realizing that I could be more of myself out there on the fringe. I developed my deep and inner listening like never before. I stopped being out there socializing, getting distracted. I developed my antenna and dug into my intuitive urges, feeling guided.
    Yet, in my pajamas, reading your blog, nearing my 40th Birthday (gulp) self-actualized and feeling really different from everyone else and freaking out… I remember two of my favorite lines from my favorite movie, Almost Famous;
    “The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.”
    “You’ll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.”

    I think it’s fair to say that despite how we may feel sometimes, we’re walking in someone else’s dream.

    Thank you for sharing your mind.

    Hugs,
    Jenny
    💙

  11. Lauren says:

    Hey Jackson,

    You are definitely not alone in your thoughts. I think it’s awesome that you shared this part of yourself. We are not meant to know where we are going all we can do is do what we are lead to each and everyday. Believe that it makes a difference because it does, no matter how small or huge it may seem, you have no idea the type of impact it will have on someone or many someones. Just relax and put it all out in front of you. You’re doing good works. Don’t let them be diminished.
    Don’t try to analyze why you don’t have your person yet, it will happen when it is supposed to happen. Whether you are ready for it or not. Just keep doing exactly what you are doing. Just be you.
    Your community is everyone who you have helped and everyone you will help. Your community is your followers who think you are kickass! Your community is your family.
    Since you shared, so will I: I spent the last seven days getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship. Going through denial and shock. Not wanting to believe that this shit happened to me. Trying to heal from the pain and not knowing what is next on my path with God. I do not understand the why and I don’t need to right now. All I know and understand to be true is this: Trust in God and His plan for you. He has your back and knows when you are settling and just what the very best is for you. If you don’t believe in God, He still has your back. Trust the process. Just keep going and doing.
    EGTBOK. translation: Everything Is Going To Be OK!

  12. Kurt Waterstradt says:

    Jackson,

    I enjoyed your post. I find deep self-reflection on long flights of solitude as well. Your struggle in this post to reconcile making a difference challenges everyone trying to make a better future. When we look at the world, the small acts don’t feel like they’ve made the impact we hoped. However, change is an accumulation of effort. By helping those on Lombok, you’ve dropped the pebble and now time will reveal the impacts. Not a time frame we want, but over years. You’re act of kindness and positivity is an effort that will trigger other efforts. The accumulation of these efforts by everyone will help change the world. The secondary ripple effect is leading through example. You inspire others with these projects and they take that action in their own areas.

    I’m sure you’re aware of all this, but when I read your post I wanted to let you know that even the smallest act can have huge implications. Thank you for inspiring!

  13. Alex White says:

    Needed this. Thanks Jacks

  14. Mimi Huser says:

    Such a pure and powerful read. Readying it was like listening to my own thoughts. Trust me, you are not alone in this process and it’s actually quit normal for people like us.
    There’s no right or wrong answer to all this. Choosing a life of adventure is the most amazing life, and yes it does comes with sacrifices. I know that, with a few years on you, I know. I will never become a mom for exemple, it’s too late, and I will probably always feel that sense of solitude somehow. But After a period of struggling with loneliness, I made peace with it and it turned out that I love it now.
    I still live my life as I always do since I was 20. Explore the world through my job. Choose the job that allows me to do this. And looking back at every decision I made, right or wrong, I would never change anything.
    Never regret anything you choose to do.
    We all have ups and downs and question ourselves. Always do the best you can for yourself and our world, but you also need those time of rest to reset everything, recharge your batteries. Then you’ll be able to jump into your next… whatever next will be.
    It’s all good! You are doing just fine. Never change…

  15. Josh says:

    I think everyone can relate to this post, especially long term travellers. It was a pleasure to meet you briefly whilst I was working at Manta Dive on Gili Trawangan. I’ve seen first hand the state of those villages in Lombok and I know you have changed the lives of many people through that project. So that’s something to be extremely proud of. Personally I began to feel terribly lost after just one year of solo travel, so I know your struggle. I would recommend doing a Vipassana meditation course if you feel the same. Cheers from Adelaide.

  16. Oihane says:

    I have just a question..

    What are you afraid of,
    when it comes to a community or a relationship?

  17. Rachel says:

    The transparency and vulnerability of this post is so genuine and comforting. I recently went to a Celebration of Life for a man who made huge impacts and his life motto was “Dream Small”. At first, I resisted this idea. I don’t want to dream small. I want to make huge contributions to this world! His impact and approach got me thinking though. Is it the small things that add up to a life of making big positive change? That thought is comforting. When I get overwhelmed, I now think “Dream Small”. Keep doing you!

  18. Connie says:

    wow, i am really touched by the pure authenticity and vulnerability of this post. this level of openness and honesty is refreshing and allowed me some moments of self reflection as well. you are one of my biggest inspirations, ever. you are impacting the world in an amazing way and inspiring others to do the same as well! thank you x1000000

  19. Anna says:

    No words
    ❤️

  20. Lashmelash says:

    Thats why people travel. The intensity, isolation and vulnerability. There is no way to measure courage without vulnerability. You will never understand your “big picture” until its over. How can you reflect on the decade that was, until its over and you look back upon it? Enjoy the freedom your lifestyle allows, taking time to be in the moment. Sharing it and yourself with the world might just be the “enough” to change it.

  21. Aaditya Srivastava says:

    I really don’t read blogs as I am too entangled with myself. But , I have read a few of your blogs. The honesty and the positivity in your work can be felt easily by your write-ups and posts. By looking at your journey, I have gained a sense of confidence to look beyond my limits. I wish you all the bests in your journey and also to join you someday in the good you do. Keep up yoir work Jackson. Cheers.

    • Jackson says:

      Hi Aaditya,

      That’s so great to hear. Hopefully, you will continue to read and they will do something for you!

      Jackson

  22. Laura Ocampo says:

    Absolutely beautiful existential crisis.
    Jun 10 I’ll be traveling to Cusco for the first time, your pictures and blog is worth readings and truly an inspiration.

  23. Karla says:

    “It’s a trap of knowing that we can’t change the world but we can change something and that in effect is changing the world. This trap is as equally inspiring as it can be paralyzing. To be perfectly honest, sometimes it paralyzes me into a tired state of not knowing where to start. Too tired to start anywhere. It’s not often but it happens. ”

    Rest if you must, but never quit❤

  24. Beth says:

    Having the ability to be vulnerable is so incredibly powerful. You have this amazing platform and nomadic life. I believe we all have this crisis in one way or another.
    I know i am the opposite of you and i have the community, but somehow, my feet always have that itch to walk away and do more. I know this isnt where ill end up, but to enjoy it while i can.
    I appreciate and value your transparency. In the most difficult parts of this, youre living a life that fulfills you, truly. Sometimes i dont know that it has to be a “settle down”, I believe the universe has a plan, and if you choose to manifest more change for this world, It will come.

  25. Rebecca says:

    Hi Jackson, normally I’m the kind of reader, who remains silent, as you know I’m now organising my journey, or better said my start of personal process.
    You really touched my soul with this post. There are so many thing I would like to say you about you thoughts and your struggles, but for most of them, my English is still to basic to really explain but, let’s tray with some of them.
    It’s nice to see that out there , is someone else that sometime is battling with the person who they are, they where and the question who they want to be. It’s a problem I have since 2014. I had a really great relationship, a good job which was paying of slowling, everything was getting easy, but I had this strange feeling that something was wrong, that the life I was living wasn’t meant to be mine . Don’t misunderstand, I love my family, I had the luck to be born in a beautiful country and I had tons of friends, great ones and those who we lost in time. I starter to feel as a stranger in my own home, sometimes I was just sitting somewhere, observing my boyfriend, the society the lived life around me and feeling like I don’t belong there, in this rhythm in this view of life. And I realised that I was seeking to find someone or something who’s eyes where looking the world in the same way. At the end the feeling was getting so big, that I crashed everything, I quit my job, my 6 year relationship, my entire existence to go to Australia for 3 month, to learn english and get in touch with an other kind of life, surrounding and rhythm . At the very first I loved Australia, maybe because of the ocean and the sun, the change it was from where I was before. But after 3 months, I was living the exactly same feeling, looking at people, seeing them life in their soapbubble, every body seemed to live a life , which surely for them felt important, but for me they where missing it, completely. That was the moment I understood that, even in a country with beautiful landscapes, tons of thing to do and see, I would not be able to live a life in all this, settle down seems to me, to loose something, I didn’t know what but I was sure I would loose my self if I would. I returned home and 6 days later I took a flight to Vancouver with a stranger we bought a Van and for 9 month we drove across north and Central America, without a plan, without a goal, everyday was a new adventure, worth to be lived, fully. It was the first time I really felt, my self, at the right place, loosing nothing , living my live how it is meant to be lived. But Karma, is always there to remember you, that it doesn’t matter how far you come, you have roots and you are human, and sometimes you are kicked back there without any advice. So after those 9 months on the road I hat to go back home, because my family needed me to be there. That was at the and of 2015. And I’m still here, I loosed one of the two most important persons of my life, with a job for which some people would kill, I had a relationship which was almost perfect, but the good old feeling of being at the wrong place in the wrong life had made his comeback, so this time I’m getting ready for the unstable life I need to feel my life worth to be lived. And if I can do that and on top leave a positive impact on my path, I think I already reached more the most of all people on this globe who are just living in the small illusions they created for them self to feel important and fulfilled in their short existence. I think the kind of crises we are going trough, everyone in his own way of course, are just the result of our awareness, that it can be done more, that the is such a huge potential and we don’t event use a 1% of it. And try to understand why maybe will kill us. But now enough, just to let you know, your post really touched me, never stop to challenge you self, but do notforget also to enjoy your self. Stay safe.

    • Elisabet says:

      OMG im in the same way… Living like a robot, but the difference its That I dont like my job, I had a terrible relationship, and still cannot move myself Im terrified. I think That I m un the last part if a very very long journey of afraid. Thinking on travelling alone forma the first time to be Alive! Sorry if my English its not so good

      • Rebecca says:

        Hi Elisabet
        You know, be terrified is not a bad thing, it’s normal, the important thing is to try to step over that fear, doesn’t matter if a little every day, or all at once. It’s overcome that fear that makes you feel stronger, free, capable to achieve what you wish in your life. Try to change view, look at you from the outside, Ask your self if that fear is worth loose the chance to change your life and feel suddisfied of yourself. And don’t think that for anyone It’s easy, it’s not. Its a choice and as every choice it brings it bad times and good times but you will face them differently because they are the result of your decision and not of life overcoming you. It costed me a lot in the past, friendships, relations, the feeling of being part of something, but at the end I can only say, that’s me, I’m not able to settle down, my way to feel settled is actually continue to move. I had the luck to have amazing parents which always pushed me to not step back, to give everything for what I believed was meant to be. But sometimes I stop, and I feel lost, because I don’t know where my path will bring me, but it’s part of the choices I took, and I’m sure that even if sometimes I panic, questioning if it was the right decision to step out of every thing, leaving behind every possibility of a “normal” life, it’s the only way for me, now. You see, fear is part of the heart of everyone of us, the important thing is to feed the good wolf ( happiness, freedom, positivity) not the bad (your fears) because you choose which one will survive.
        Stay strong, every day a little step and at the end you will be there to enjoy the view of your personal peak you reached. And do not think about happiness as something, you have from one day to the other, it’s more about, being happy also when everything is getting worse, seems crazy but it’s just about not let the bad times hide how much there is to still be thankful. Thank you for your answer on my toughest, it’s great to know that they reached someone.

    • Tony says:

      Hey Rebecca

      Thank you for you inspiring words too. It’s rare to read about woman with this kind of thoughts and which actually try to live there dream even if it is not easy. I wish over the time I had found someone with your life philosophy to share my adventures. I’m sure someday you will find someone who not only fits in your life but someone to push you. One question, as a female solo traveler, what about having children ? Are you not scared to regret the decision to not have your own family? I’m asking because as a man probably is much easier in a certain way.
      Would be great to read about you somewhere in the net. Stay safe and regards from Italy.

      • Rebecca says:

        Hi Tony
        Thank you for your kind words, not used at all that people come back to be about my thoughts. Mh, it’s a delicate theme, here in Switzerland I’m used to be watched as an alien when people hears my answer … let’s say I’m not willing, at least not yet, to sacrifice such a huge part of my life for an other creature, I know they are our future, but I believe more in our planet then in human being. As well as I don’t think I want to grow a child in this world. There are so many things which are wrong, I don’t want someone to face all this because I want a child and also there are so so sooo many child’s on this planet in need for a better life, I think I would rather adopt one, dunno… but as I said it’s a huge discussion around that. At any case, it’s not always easy walk around with my head, but it’s me and it’s ok it brings the up and downs everyone of us faces , just maybe a little bit lonelier.
        Have a nice one

        • Tony says:

          OMG ok that sound really determinate.Well I think I know what you mean. It’s nice to see that out there are also many badass women fighting for their dreams and not living the stereotype Life. I wish you all the best for your further plans.

  26. Michele Chirieleison says:

    Poignant and raw, ~ beautifully powerful. Your transparency resonates within me..TY

  27. Anonymous says:

    Poignant, and transparent. The rawness of your story resonates with me…TY

  28. Aydan says:

    Existential crisis during a flight – resonates so much! Loved this blog! I think you’re blocking that avenue because you’re not ready. It’ll take time, experiences & reflection. It could take years! Don’t settle!

  29. Dave says:

    I’ve been struggling with the same thing man. I live abroad and am unsure of a lot of things.

    I’m working towards detaching for this longing of seeking for more though and being grateful for what I have currently accomplished. It’s not easily but through a daily practice of meditations centered on appreciation and acceptance I find I’m a lot more satisfied.

    Coming for a background of drug abuse and suicidal attempts its a work in progress and never ends I think.

    2 years in though I can safely say my life is a lot better.

    Hopefully this resonates for you as much as your article did for me.

    One love,

    Dav3

  30. robin singh says:

    so dreamyy <3

  31. Jess says:

    Ehy Man…. I could fully relate myself to this article…Everytime questioning yourself to wether have you done enough… Something I have to say though is you already have inspired and helped a lot of people to various things youve done… sometimes you might not feel that youve done enough. BUT ehy you did and you continue to even do more..

  32. Jarrad says:

    Love this weekly Jacko! Can’t wait to see you back home soon mate!❤️

  33. Nice one Jackson! I think all minds have the same struggles as you did during your flight. I would say, take more long flights and try to be only aware of what you thoughts are passing, they are just like the clouds the plane is going through.

    And that quote is totally true, allthough some people think they do. But in fact they are doing things related to what there parents told them, teachers, friends and all circumstances.

    And you allready found your purpose: just be. *In my opinion live doesnt have a purpose at all, its all made up by the mind. Your helping other people with those projects and by inspiring them with what you like to do most. Because of your creativity and love for other beings.

    I think your on the right path, and you have always been!

    Thanks for sharing and being true to yourself! Keep it up

  34. Robert says:

    Maybe it’s sort of a continuation thing you know? Like once you inspire enough people to make a difference, it won’t just be up to you to save the world, and then you can focus on community. Maybe isolation is just a phase in your life mission. Just thinkin’ out loud. Love your work and definately gonna become a weekly reader of this blog. Much love.

  35. Oksana says:

    Thanks for your blog! You always have the most incredible photos and you find fantastic places. And you so honestly write, please continue on! P.S. Thank you for such a cool guide to Bali. Thanks to this, I’ll see all these amazing places soon

  36. make_it_hazel says:

    What if you dont settle? What if someone equally as passionate as you finds you and not only matches you but massively stokes your fire? What if they have the same drive, the same interests, and the stamina to challenge you? What if they help lead? You, the adventures, the projects? Organizing, planning, executing the most amazing life while doing everything to better others lives. What if you find exactly what you’re looking for? What if they’re sexy as hell in every sense and that drives you crazy in all of the right ways? They’re beautiful and intelligent as fuck. Humble, loving, giving, enligtened, observant as fuck and skilled in a surprising amount of things. They’re a fast learner. They dont give up. They get shit done. They also have occassional existential crises but also come back from them stronger, more refined-keeping it real. Theyre around. I’ve seen it. I refuse to settle. In perfect time, exactly what you want will find you, and never let you go.
    -A note to you, and to me.

  37. Anonymous says:

    I love your blog. Thank you and keep up the great work

  38. Nina says:

    Hey Jackson!

    Wow. I, just like a lot of the other readers here, relate a 100%. I envy that you only have these existential thoughts once in a while, because lately, I have been struggling with the thoughts EVERY single day. I feel like I’m going nuts. I found your blog when I was planning a trip to the Philippines. Then I found your IG, and now made it back here full circle. Let me tell you that you are LIVING your purpose. I know that it may feel like you’re questioning why you’re here, and you supposed to dig deeper to find the IT of why you’re here, and then once you fulfill that purpose, you’ll have your missions completed. But the thing is, whatever you’re doing now, it is a part of your mission. Your present is your mission. Yes, we can always dig a little deeper, do more, make a bigger impact, but that comes with time. And it’s hilarious how synchronized life becomes when you start aligning yourself with that purpose. You mentioned that quote…well, I started asking myself questions a few years back, and posted this quote…”the older you get, the more you realize that no one has a fucking clue what they’re doing, everyone’s just winging it.” You’re such an inspiration, keep sharing your thoughts because we need that openness and connection in life!

    Love,

  39. Madison says:

    I love reading your posts & feeling completely connected, like someone else feels the same ways that I do. You put into words the way travel & adventure makes me feel reflective. Beautiful.

  40. Pao says:

    I really enjoyed the description of your existencial crisis, i felt fully identify. I just love the pictures of Perú, which is my country!
    Continue writing!

  41. Sil says:

    Such an amazing post! I can relate in so many ways. I too, am trying to figure out what my purpose is. I want to help the planet and our animals, but I don’t know how to start. My dream is to educate people on issues that are most important to me (such as climate change and animal cruelty) and empower them to take action. But yet again, I don’t know how to start. After reading this comment over a few times, I’ve realized that I do know what my purpose is—but I’m having trouble brining it to life. Once again! This was an amazing post and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. You have an amazing journey ahead of you! Take care.

  42. Stacey says:

    Thank you x

  43. Tamara says:

    Hi!
    First of all I really like you’re writing, so please keep doing that. And secondly, thanks for sharing your heart.
    I’ve been having a very similar lifestyle (also by choice) and I struggled with a certain kind of loneliness and my heart being all over the place at the same time.
    I don’t think there is an answer to the questions you were asking yourself and I just really hope that one day I’ll know when I have to stay.
    Sending love your way and keep doing your thing!

  44. Debra says:

    So wonderful to see someone living my dream! I enjoy see my dream through your eyes Thank you. WOWZA

  45. Evelina says:

    Absolutely amazing post and pictures Jackson!!

  46. D Jelley says:

    Stunning insight – you are not alone in these existential struggles. We should all look to challenge ourselves further to make a greater impact on the world around us every day. There is no right time to ‘settle’ and to settle isn’t necessarily to stay in one place. Keep on moving until it is time to rest, and thank you for being a beacon of light for the communities you share your life with, and making a positive impact.

  47. Jennifer Blake says:

    Hi Jackson,

    You are inspirational! 1000 kids have access to education- one of the most important things any child should have! What an amazing project to be involved in!

    Your a mover and a shaker and should keep doing what you doing, until you don’t want to do it anymore. You’ll know when the time is right to make a base.

    Life is hard and can be really bad for a long time sometimes. So when it’s great, love it 🥰

  48. Gina says:

    I Love your blog and I think I can even say that you are officially my favorite blogger :). I recently started an undetermined length of a journey and I find your thoughts really refreshing and a reminder that I’m not the only one that thinks those thoughts. Thank you!

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